If You Love Me, Let It Show
by MystiKoorime
Summary: Botan grows tired of keeping her relationship with Hiei a secret. The fire-demon just wants things to remain as they are. When they come to a standstill, Hiei has to make a decision.


"Sorry, B, but we've upgraded from those novice missions of yesteryear. It'd be better if you stay on the sidelines this time," Yusuke stated.

"But I can help!" Botan insisted, her hands balled into fists as she regarded the rest of the boys. "Really, I can!"

Kuwabara avoided her gaze when she turned to him for support and Kurama remained just as unhelpful, his mouth drawn into a silent line. The ferry-girl set her sights on the only member of the team left and her expression softened subconsciously. His lips were still red from the kisses she had left behind and the lingering warmth of his touch remained seared on her skin, but this really wasn't the time to be thinking about any of that.

"Hiei," she tried hopefully.

Crimson eyes stared back at her without a hint of emotion as he crossed his arms over his chest. The fabric of his blue shirt was wrinkled and the dark locks of his raven hair fell a little wilder than normal, but none of the others seemed to notice such telling details.

"Stay behind, woman," he instructed tonelessly.

"But I-"

"You'll only get in the way," he said.

She knew that if they were alone, Hiei would have been a little bit more tactful. His gaze would have been more familiar, his tone less harsh. She kept all of that in mind and forced herself to take it all in stride, even as her heart sunk low in her chest.

"I am afraid we do not have the time to argue," Kurama said, casting a sympathetic glance her way. "We must leave now."

The ferry-girl bit back a frown, nodding in surrender. The mission's priority ranked above all else and if the whole team thought they would be better off without her, then there wasn't anything she could do to oppose that. It was a little discouraging to be pushed aside like that, but now a new burden was weighing on her heart. Something she couldn't quite discuss with everyone around.

"I understand," she relented. "You boys be safe now."

Yusuke patted her twice on the shoulder as he passed her by and the others soon followed suit. Hiei was the last to move, his sharp, red eyes pinning her with a questioning look. The ferry-girl forced a smile and nodded at him reassuringly and Hiei frowned. He had known her better than most by now and could easily see through her false cheer, but there was simply no time to dawdle. The mission came first.

* * *

Later that night, Botan stood on her balcony. It was a cool and cloudy night, everything around her still and calm. She had been waiting expectantly for quite some time now and when Hiei finally appeared, she couldn't help the smile that stretched over lips.

"You're back!" she exclaimed, hugging him tightly. It was always a relief to see him return in one piece and without any injuries.

"You didn't have to wait up," Hiei replied, his hand settling on the small of her back.

"I know, but I just like to make sure that you're okay."

"Hn. The enemies were all pitifully weak; outmatched and outclassed in every area."

She pulled away to fix him with an accusing look.

"Then I _could_ have come along with you boys!"

Hiei shook his head.

"It's better that you didn't," he maintained, wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling against him. "It still would have been too much for you."

Botan pouted as she fixed the collar of his shirt.

"Well, I suppose I should find some consolation in the fact that you were much nicer this time around," she pouted playfully. "You were so mean earlier."

"I was honest," he corrected as he leaned in closer. "And if I had treated you differently, the others would have noticed."

The air was suddenly much heavier than before, charged with a crackling tension that she was all too familiar with. The fire-demon was a mere few inches away from her lips and she couldn't stop her heart rate from increasing in anticipation. He was always a little friskier after a mission and while she was usually happy to assist, she really needed to get something off of her chest first.

"Um," she began tentatively, dragging her eyes away from his lips and focusing on the red of his eyes instead. "I was hoping that we could-"

And then his mouth was on hers, effectively silencing her with a hungry kiss. She resisted the urge to melt against his warm body as his lips traveled down her neck and his hands warmed her sides. He always knew how to make her weak, but she was determined not to give in tonight. Not until they had a proper conversation first.

"Hiei, we really need to talk," she said.

"Then talk," he urged.

She opened her mouth, words failing her as his teeth met the sensitive skin of her pulse point. She could feel him smirking against her and she frowned.

"You're not playing fair," she moaned. "I can't concentrate at all when you do that!"

"Must not be important then," he muttered.

But it _was_.

It was important to her.

They had been in a relationship for close to a year now and all the secrecy was beginning to take its toll on the ferry-girl. She wanted to gush to her friends about the good times and vent about the bad. She wanted to kiss him when it suited her fancy and hold his hand just because she could. She hated having to be mindful of what she said or how closely she stood by him when in the presence of company. She hated having to find excuses to sneak away and see him. And, most of all, she hated she hated having to lie to her friends.

When deft fingers began to untie her obi, Botan finally snapped to her senses.

"Hiei – wait," she interrupted. "Just give me a minute."

The fire-demon's lips stilled against her neck and in the next instant, he had pulled away.

"What is it?"

"I want to tell the others about us."

Dark brows furrowed in confusion and irritation as he frowned.

"Why?"

"Because we've been together for nearly an entire year. There's no need to be cautious or careful anymore."

"…I thought you enjoyed all the sneaking around," he said.

"It was fun and exciting at first," she admitted, thinking back to the earlier months of their relationship. They had stolen away many moments whenever they could and it was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. Even now, she still enjoyed it to some extent, but she wanted more. "I'd rather not have to hide the truth from our friends any longer. I just want to be like every other normal couple."

His gaze narrowed.

"We are hardly the standard for conventionality," he contended. "I don't see the need to be normal."

"And I don't see the need for secrecy," she shot back. "Don't you think we've kept quiet for long enough?"

Hiei's grip on her waist began to loosen, his gaze falling away from hers as he released her.

"Don't you think it's time we were honest with everyone?" she continued.

"No," he denied with a shake of his head.

"Why not?"

The fire-demon's mouth pulled into an unyielding slant. His lack of a response wasn't doing either of them any favors and it was starting to trudge up the old insecurities she thought she had locked away. She began to wonder if his reluctance had anything to do with the differences that spanned between them; if he was ashamed to be involved with a being from the Spirit World, and a ferry-girl at that. He had always voiced his disdain for her world and her fellow people, so it wasn't exactly an unfounded worry. She just hoped that it held no weight. Looking up at him searchingly from under furrowed blue brows, she reached a hand out to cup the side of his face.

"Hiei," she said softly. "Please tell me why you're so against it."

"…I prefer things the way they are now," he stated after a few moments of tense silence. "That is all."

There was an air of finality to his tone as he turned away from her. Botan took in the hard line of his shoulders and the tight clench of his jaw and her expression softened. Even though he was being impossibly obstinate, her heart was still moving towards his.

She loved him, plain and simple. He was blunt and arrogant and rude, but he was hers. He was brave and strong; noble and loyal. He had been there for her more times than she could count, lending his strength and stability when she needed it and allowing her to stand on her own when it was necessary. She thought that they shared something special; something worth admitting aloud, but maybe she was wrong. If he couldn't even lower his guard long enough to tell her what was on her mind – to tell her why he was so against revealing their relationship to the others – then perhaps they really weren't on the same page.

"When you're ready to give me an actual reason, you can let me know," she said, taking a step back. "Until then, I'd like to be alone, please."

The fire-demon held her gaze for a while, crimson eyes unreadable as he searched her expression. For a moment or two, she thought he might see things her way; that he would give in to her simple request. But then he shook his head stubbornly and all traces of emotion disappeared from his features.

"Fine."

And then he was gone, leaving behind nothing but his fading afterimage in his wake.

* * *

Hiei awoke next morning with a start. The tree bark was rough and scratchy against his back, his muscles sore from the rigid position he had maintained all night. As he squinted against the harsh morning rays of the sun, he briefly considered scorching the birds that chirped and twittered incessantly in the surrounding trees, before deciding against it.

He had gotten so used to waking up in the comfort of Botan's room that his old dwelling places paled in comparison. He would never admit it out loud, but he actually came to prefer the plush cushioning of her bed and the rich silk of her duvet to the natural terrain of the outdoors. He thought of lazy mornings with her soft curves pressed against him and sweet scent intermingled with his. He allowed himself to recall light kisses and caresses, much too gentle for an undeserving man like him. He had gotten so used to her constant presence that waking up without her felt wrong, but it couldn't be helped. Botan wanted to be alone and he had never been the clingy type.

He knew that she was disappointed in him, but it wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last time. They'd had far more explosive arguments than this in the past, so he wasn't particularly concerned. She would forget all about their little disagreement and things would return to normal.

She merely needed a little time and space and he had no problem granting her that.

…

…

…

It only became a problem when 'a little time and space' became three whole days without any contact from the woman. While it wasn't exactly unusual for them to be apart - Botan had much to do between ferrying souls, assisting the detective and instructing new ferry-girls, after all - it was strange that she hadn't contacted him once via the communication mirror she insisted he keep. He thought back to their last conversation with a sigh. Perhaps she was still upset over their dispute. Perhaps she wasn't going to let this small point of contention go, like she was prone to doing in the past.

"Hiei." Kurama's calm voice cut through his afternoon mediation. "We are being summoned to the Spirit World."

The fire-demon frowned down at the fox from his perch on the highest tree in the park. He would much rather be seeing blue-hair and smiling eyes, but instead he was afforded with the view of Kurama looking up at him, donned in his eyesore of a school uniform.

"I didn't realize you had become one of Koenma's messengers," he retorted.

Kurama remained as calm and composed as ever; immune to his mocking and baiting. He only smiled up at Hiei knowingly.

"Botan asked me to find you while she dealt with Yusuke and Kuwabara."

Hiei's brow furrowed. The ferry-girl rarely missed an opportunity to seek him out personally, so this sudden avoidance was uncharacteristic. He was starting to realize that her absence in the past few days was not matter of circumstance and more a matter of choice, and that angered him.

Jumping down from the tree, he landed gracefully on the dirt floor. He wanted answers and the only way he would get them was straight from the blue-haired, doe-eyed source. Lifting his gaze, ruby cut into emerald as he strapped his sword on his back.

"Lead the way, fox."

The journey to the Spirit World was short and swift. He entered Koenma's office, noting that everyone was here except for the toddler himself. Botan stood with Yusuke and Kuwabara, pink kimono wrapped tight around her slender frame and hair tied up in its signature ponytail.

As the others began to greet each other and exchange unnecessary pleasantries, Hiei shoved his hands into his pants pockets, fixing her with an expectant look. Surely now that they were face to face, she would drop this silly charade.

"Isn't there something you'd like to say to me, ferry-girl?" he asked tightly.

She feigned innocence, amethyst eyes wide under rounded brows.

"…No?"

"Nothing about my weekly evaluation?" he questioned.

She shook her head, her powder-blue ponytail swaying in tandem.

"Nothing about concerning the convoluted terms of my probation?" he pressed, irritation seeping through his tone.

"Nope," she replied pointedly. "Not unless you have something you need to say to me first."

"Botan," he gritted, his patience running low.

"-I'm here," Koenma's high-pitched voice cut in as he entered his office in his toddler form. "I would have been on time if a certain blue buffoon hadn't mixed up my squid on a stick order."

Jorge followed after the prince, rubbing the back of his neck and laughing sheepishly.

"Gee, it's nice to know that your empty stomach is more important than the safety of all three worlds," Yusuke mocked. "Now that you're all fed and burped, would you mind cutting to the chase?"

Koenma sent him a withering look as he hopped into his red chair and folded his hands over a small pile of documents.

"There's a demon hideout on the outskirts of town..." he stated, his tone serious as he began to debrief them on their latest mission.

Hiei should have been listening, but his attention continued to drift towards Botan. She avoided his gaze expertly, keeping her eyes straight ahead and appearing to be the picture of professionalism. He knew that she was aware of his attentions. He knew that she was ignoring him. And it was beyond irritating.

"And that's the gist of it," Koenma finished not long after, fixing his eyes on the detective and the oaf. "Try not to cause too much of a ruckus. This mission's success relies on your ability to be discreet."

"We'll be as quiet as a mouse," Yusuke guaranteed, throwing a cocky smirk to his partner in crime. "Right Kuwabara?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "Shorty's the one who can't be discreet. I bet he'll get impatient and storm in there with the dragon or something."

Koenma paled at the thought, before looking over at Kurama pleadingly.

"I trust you'll keep the three of them in line?"

The redhead nodded.

"Naturally."

As they all filed out of the office, Hiei found himself more vexed than ever. It was only when he heard Botan's voice, accompanied by the familiar sound of her shoes slapping against the tiled floor did his mood improve.

"Hold on!" she urged.

Hiei smirked. This was the part where she'd provide some flimsy excuse to separate him from the rest of the team and get him alone. She must have finally grown just as tired as he was over their little stalemate. Perhaps she was going to tell him that she no longer cared if they ever revealed their relationship. Yes, that would be—

"Don't forget your spirit detective tools. They may come in handy," Botan reminded as she handed a metal briefcase off to the detective.

"Thanks Botan. We'll check in with you and Mr. Terrible Two's later," Yusuke promised.

"You had better!" she urged, taking a moment to look them all over. Her eyes lingered on Hiei's for a fraction longer than they did for the rest. "Be careful."

"When are we ever not?" Yusuke joked.

She shook her head and smiled, before heading off in the opposite direction. Hiei frowned as he watched her retreating form. So she really was insistent on avoiding him until he sought her out with an acceptable answer. He mentally cursed all troublesome women and their equally troublesome ultimatums as he turned away.

Yusuke let out a low whistle.

"Is it just me or has Botan been looking super fine lately?" he mentioned conversationally.

It took a moment for the words to sink in and when they did, Hiei had to grind his teeth to stop himself from retaliating.

"Urameshi, you shouldn't talk like that when you're with Keiko!" Kuwabara exclaimed indignantly.

"I'm just sayin'. Besides you had the hots for her before Yukina came around, so don't act like you don't agree," Yusuke countered, elbowing Kuwabara's ribs lightly.

The psychic pushed him away and flushed in embarrassment as Hiei's features twisted into a displeased scowl. He had no clue that the oaf had once harbored affections for the ferry-girl, but he supposed he shouldn't have been surprised.

Botan had caught his eye from the moment he spotted her in the abandoned warehouse during his showdown with the detective. That unnatural coloring - far too bright on a normal being, but alluring on her - that determined look in her eyes as she tried to thwart the effects of the shadow sword and the bravery of her soul, despite the threat of danger and death that he brought was enough to capture his attention. She shined that day and no one could blame him for being distracted – he had been so used to nothing but the darkness up until then.

He might have been able to forget all about her and stamp out the strange attraction that had taken hold of him had she not been so persistent to remain in his memory. She had taken to visiting him while he was imprisoned. She had given him her name, afforded him her company and provided him with news and information about the outside world. She smiled at him as though he wasn't a criminal with many crimes stacked up under his belt; as though she saw something good in him, something worthwhile. And just like that, the mark she left in his mind back at the warehouse had reached his cold heart and set it aflame.

Hiei resisted her pull until he couldn't. He soon found himself letting his down his guard, indulging her in conversation and revealing bits of information about himself that he had never told anyone before.

By the time he was released from his imprisonment and put on probation, he knew what he wanted. And he never denied himself. So he made his intentions clear and she, by some strange turn of events, accepted.

They had their fair share of disagreements here and there, but nothing like this. Nothing like now.

"Did you have a point to any of this, Urameshi, or were you just being a dog?" Kuwabara probed.

"Of course I had a point," Yusuke said, sauntering to Kurama's side and throwing an arm over his shoulder. "You're single and Botan's easy on the eyes. You guys get along and she's fine with your past. Sounds like a good match to me."

"I didn't realize you were interested in matchmaking," Kurama replied casually as he slipped out of Yusuke's hold.

"Hey, I'm just doing my civic duty as a friend," he grinned cheekily.

"While I appreciate the thought, I don't believe I'm her type," Kurama declined.

"Don't give me that," Yusuke said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "You're practically every girl's type."

"I wouldn't go that far. Besides, Botan seems to prefer the dark, silent and moody sort," Kurama surmised.

Yusuke let out a disbelieving huff as he cocked a thumb in the fire-demon's direction.

"What, like, Hiei?"

The redhead glanced at him knowingly, something cunning in the slant of his lips and in the green of his eyes. _Of course_ the fox was privy to his relationship with Botan; the bastard knew everything.

"Perhaps."

Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged confused looks, neither of them knowing what to believe.

"...He's just screwing with us, right?" Yusuke whispered behind his hand.

"I can never tell with him," Kuwabara muttered in return.

"On the contrary, I'm completely serious," Kurama maintained.

The duo took one look at the fire-demon, before simultaneously shaking their heads.

"But the shrimp's creepy and mean and standoffish. And Botan's well... Botan," Kuwabara argued. "She'd probably be better suited with a guy like you, Kurama."

"I hate to agree with the Warrior of Love, but he's got a point," Yusuke supported. "She's all sunshine and rainbows and he's all fire and brimstone. It wouldn't work no matter how many fancy words you use to spin it, fox-boy."

The fire-demon's energy spiked angrily, drawing everyone's attention to him. This was the exact reason why he was so opposed to telling anyone about himself and Botan. They had so many unwarranted opinions and judgments, none of which were even remotely close to being accurate.

"Whoa, what's got your fire stoked?" Yusuke asked.

Hiei's fist clenched angrily, shoulders hunched and tight with tension. He couldn't say what was on his mind, though, so he only glared at the detective and stalked ahead purposefully. Between Botan's avoidance, Kurama's omnipotence and Yusuke and Kuwabara's ignorance, he was in desperate need of an outlet for all of his pent up aggression. He hoped the mission would bring an enemy worth his while; killing something might just be the sort of therapeutic remedy he needed.

He heard the distinct pattern of the detective's footsteps approaching and he let out a sigh. Apparently, he did not know when to back off.

"…Uh, you okay, buddy?" Yusuke questioned hesitantly. "We didn't mean any harm…"

"Do I look that sensitive, detective?" Hiei bit out.

"Sensitive isn't really the word I'd use…" he pointed out. "But you do look all bristly like an angry alley cat and that means that something's up."

"Just leave me be," the fire-demon dismissed as he increased the speed of his strides.

"Don't be like that," Yusuke urged, nearly knocking over an ogre in his haste to catch up. "I never really know what's going on in that closed off mind of yours, but we were just kidding around. You're not all that bad. You're crazy loyal and always there when we need you. You're strong as shit. Plus you have that dark and mysterious thing surrounding you that all the girls dig nowadays…"

Hiei halted to a stop, red eyes narrowed in muted suspicion. Yusuke wasn't being facetious and it was obvious that his words were coming from a genuine place – Hiei just couldn't understand why he would bother.

"What's your point, detective?" he bit out, deciding to cut to the chase.

Yusuke ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is: you're a decent guy and any girl would be lucky to have you," he finished.

Hiei lifted a dark brow.

"…Even your precious ferry-girl?" he tested, inserting more venom into his tone than necessary to hide the honest question in his voice.

Yusuke's mouth curved upwards as he nodded.

"Especially her," he insisted.

Silence settled over them as Yusuke rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and averted his gaze to the side. Kurama and Kuwabara would soon catch up to them and neither of them wanted to continue his conversation in the presence of the others. Yusuke cleared his throat in embarrassment.

"Well… this was majorly awkward. I'm gonna hang back with the other two and pretend this never happened."

Hiei shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away.

"That's probably for the best."

The fire-demon wasted no time in continuing forward. He never needed anyone's acceptance for anything and he certainly didn't need the detective's stamp of approval on his relationship with Botan, but it was a strange thing to possess.

He doubted he would ever receive it again, though. No one in their right mind would ever approve of Botan choosing him.

And that was partly the reason why he selfishly chose to keep her to himself.

* * *

The next day was relatively uneventful, especially with Botan ignoring him. He could always seek her out himself, but he was just as stubborn as she was and had no intentions of caving in so soon. Besides, his opinion hadn't changed much from his earlier stance and if he went to her now, they would undoubtedly end up fighting again. So he made his way to the old woman's temple and procured the cleaning and polishing materials that Yukina left out for him instead. His sword had spilt its fair share of blood during the last mission and it was long overdue for a cleaning.

As he sat down on the temple's veranda and began to wipe away at the dirt and grime, his thoughts traveled back to the ferry-girl.

It was against all odds that they had lasted this long to begin with. Hiei was out of his depth when it came to all manner of emotions and sentimentalities, so it was only by some miraculous stroke of luck that he had managed to keep the ferry-girl relatively happy and content to stay by his side. He was almost positive that most of their success was credited to the fact that their relationship was theirs and theirs alone. Bringing everyone else into a world meant for two was an unnecessary risk that he did not see the point in taking.

He was a demon of Makai and she, a ferry-girl of the Spirit World. Once word got out about them, it would spread amongst the rumormongers of the Spirit World and they would surely make things harder on Botan than needed be. She would probably be ostracized by the less tolerant spirits and gossiped about by the rest. He wondered if she even took that into consideration at all or if she was only concerned with the romanticized aspects of having everyone know about their unlikely relationship.

Frowning, he twisted the cap off of the bottle of choji oil and poured a small amount onto the cloth Yukina had provided. He swiped the cloth over the length of the blade with smooth and practiced motions, trying his to push all unnecessary thoughts out of his head while he worked. Cleaning his sword always had a way of calming his anger and soothing his irritation, but it proved to be utterly useless today. His thoughts continued straying to the one person who was the cause of his current unrest and he gritted his teeth as he discarded the greasy cloth on the floor beside him. He examined the way the blade gleamed in the sunlight, deeming it adequate as he sheathed the weapon once more.

Judging by the position of the sun in the sky, it was just after noon. Botan should be free now and he wondered what she might be doing. There was always one way of finding out, even if the ferry-girl was opposed to it. He removed his bandana and waited for the jagan to awaken. The woman had the uncanny ability of getting herself into troubling situations and he seemed to be the only one out of the bunch of fools that realized it. Checking in on her was both a necessity and a duty; it had nothing to do with weak sentimentalities and the like.

Using that reasoning as justification, he began the search for her familiar energy signal. He eventually found her atop school roof with Yusuke and Hiei's features crumpled into a look of thinly veiled aversion. She was seated much too close to him, laughing away without a single worry or care. Lips stretched into a wide grin and amethyst eyes glinting in amusement, her expression was a far cry from the look of disappointment she had given him the other night.

His frown deepened as he watched the tactile duo interact. The detective's arm was thrown draped her shoulders as he leaned in to whisper something in her ear. Botan had no qualms with their proximity and every so often would poke him or ruffle his hair.

Hiei's blood boiled as something dark burned fierce in his chest.

The ferry-girl wasn't unfaithful. It was not in her nature to be.

He knew that whatever she felt for the detective was contained within the realms of friendship, but something still ate away at him.

She was _his_.

And for the first time ever, he wanted everyone to know.

* * *

A few days passed before Hiei resorted to using the jagan again.

This time, Kurama was showing Botan around his garden. Hiei wasn't sure why they were even talking to begin with: the two had nothing in common and the woman had never shown any interest in worthless greenery and shrubbery before.

That same dark and unbridled feeling lay heavy in his chest again, despite his best efforts to keep it at bay.

Although Kurama was a mere shell of his former self, his human container looked far more delicate and approachable than his nature belied. Hiei had seen how all manner of girls flocked to him, fawning over his effeminate looks, fancy words and polite smiles. He briefly wondered if that was what Botan preferred. If she was more inclined to the sort of gentlemanly etiquette that he lacked. A few minutes with Kurama would make it plainly obvious that there was more that the ferry-girl could be reaching for, aiming for, in a partner.

He frowned and closed the connection immediately.

Such thoughts were unbecoming and he didn't make it a habit to indulge in self-loathing.

Botan made it plainly clear how much she cared for him on many occasions. She didn't want him to change. The only thing she wanted was for him to be open with her and for them to be open with the others in turn. Simple in theory, but much harder in practice for a closed of and private soul like his.

He leaned back against the trunk of the tree, folding his arms loosely across his chest.

When he stopped to think about it, all he really wanted was her. Botan had gone against every fiber of her being in order keep them a secret this long, so he should have bended and finally agreed to break the secrecy.

He should have given into her simple request, but he truly could not make sense of it.

He couldn't understand why she would want the others to be privy to what should have been private; why she would be content to have them cast their judgments and unwarranted opinions. He couldn't understand why she willingly give the others license to meddle into their affairs and happenings.

He couldn't understand it at all, but perhaps it was time for him to at least _try_ to understand.

He could have gone to Botan herself, but tensions were running high enough between them and he did not much feel like adding fuel to the fire. Kurama was also a viable option, but Hiei was in no mood to deal with his cryptic answers and ambiguous suggestions. There was one other person with just enough emotional capacity to make things clear to him. He would loathe it the entire time, but he would swallow his pride and do this for Botan.

* * *

Later that night, Hiei stood outside of the two-story Kuwabara family home. Kuwabara was the self proclaimed Warrior of Love and, despite how moronic it sounded, the psychic really did possess a deep understanding of people's feelings and all that came with it. Jumping through the open window, he landed quietly on the hardwood floor.

His room was fairly clean, if a bit tacky. The walls were covered in posters that made no sense to Hiei and to the left of his bed was the sleeping cat that oaf often prattled on about. The psychic was hunched over his workstation, a pencil in his hands and reading glasses slipping low on the bridge of his nose. Even if Hiei had been suppressing his energy, the idiot was far too lax to not have sensed his approach at all.

"Oaf."

"Ah!" he exclaimed, nearly falling off of his chair. Charcoal eyes narrowed as he righted himself and fixed his glasses. "What's the matter with you? You almost gave me a heart attack, shorty!"

"I would only be so lucky," Hiei replied flatly as he rolled his eyes.

"What are you even doing here, anyway? You're the last person I want to see on a Friday night."

" _Kazuma_?"

"Oh crap," he whispered, his features pinched. "I'm not supposed to have anybody over."

Hiei grunted as he crossed his arms over his chest, but otherwise remained silent.

"Uh, yeah, sis?" Kuwabara called back.

" _I thought I heard voices?_ "

"I was just taking a break and chatting with Eikichi," he said sheepishly. "I'll keep it down."

" _It's fine. Let me know if you need anything._ "

"I'm good. Thanks Shizuru!"

He let out a sigh of relief upon hearing her footsteps descending the stairs and relaxed a little. He turned back to a view Hiei, eyes narrowing in confusion as he began speaking in hushed tones.

"What do you think you're doing, shrimp? You can't just barge through someone's bedroom window like that!"

"I want you to answer a question for me, you buffoon," Hiei answered plainly. "As much as I loathe to admit it, you are the only one who can be of use."

Kuwabara was momentarily shocked by the admission, but he quickly snapped out it and nodded his assent.

"Fine, I'll help you, but you have to keep it down," he warned. "If Shizuru hears you, she won't let me go on anymore missions."

Hiei rolled his eyes – that seemed like a plus to him, seeing as the psychic's power had seemed to dwindle after the Dark Tournament anyway – but the fire-demon lowered his voice as he continued.

"Why are you so obsessed with making your infatuation with Yukina known?" he asked.

Kuwabara eyed him distrustfully.

"Look, if you just came here to make fun of me…"

"I genuinely want to know. Now, answer the question."

Kuwabara scratched the back of his head, inadvertently slanting the warrior of love headband that was around his forehead.

"It's pretty natural to want to shout it out and show it off. You want the world to know that you're head over heels for this beautiful and amazing person and you're proud to say that they feel the same in return," he explained. "It's hard to contain all those feelings inside sometimes, so when you love someone, you let it show."

"Ridiculous," Hiei scoffed.

"Yeah, well, I don't expect you to understand it, shorty."

But he _was_ starting to understand it. More than the idiot would ever know. If that was how Botan felt – if she truly thought of him like that – then she must have thought that the opposite was keeping him from doing as she had asked. That look in her eyes the other night was starting to make sense; the hurt and uncertainty she failed to hide when he continued to adamantly oppose her wishes. He mentally cursed himself. He was such a fool to make her doubt his feelings.

"Why are you asking me about it anyway?" Kuwabara questioned, eyes squinting in suspicion.

Hiei's gaze shifted away.

"That is none of your concern."

"Heh, did your itty bitty little heart get attached to some poor, unlucky girl?" Kuwabara taunted.

He had gone far past the point of mere _attachment_ a long time ago. He had once believed that he was not built the same way as others; that such sentimentalities could not survive within him, but the ferry-girl proved him wrong time and time again. She had done more for him than he could ever repay. If full transparency was what she wanted, then he would do whatever was necessary to achieve that.

"Oh my god... do you really have a crush on someone, hamster legs?" Kuwabara continued.

Hiei met his gaze head on, his expression unchanging. If he was really going to commit to this, he might as well start now.

"I'm _head over heels_ for the ferry-girl," he answered flatly.

Kuwabara's expression went blank. He blinked once, then twice, causing Hiei to wonder if he used the human world phrase correctly. His question was answered soon after, when the psychic erupted into a fit of stifled laughter.

"Urameshi was right," he managed to utter between breaths. "You really can be funny when you want to be."

Crimson eyes narrowed.

"I wasn't-"

The psychic started wheezing, his shoulders shaking under the weight of his mirth.

"You... and Botan... pfft," he let out between wheezing laughs. "Is this some kinda running joke you have with Kurama or something?"

Hiei scowled as he turned away. He supposed disbelief was better than disgust, but he still did not appreciate it in the slightest. He sent one last glare at Kuwabara from over his shoulder and then disappeared from sight.

He wouldn't say his visit was a complete success, but it wasn't a total waste, either. If Botan really felt that seriously about it - if she really wanted the world to know about the two of them - then he would oblige her.

He couldn't give her much to begin with, but he could at least give her this.

* * *

Hiei waited until the day he was sure that everyone would be gathered in one spot, before finally seeking Botan out. They were all at the old woman's temple for a lunch that he normally wouldn't attend, but today made an exception.

Kurama was conversing with the oaf's much more tolerable sister. The detective's woman and Yukina had brought out trays of sandwiches and drinks and were in the middle of setting them on the outdoor tables while Botan sat between the two banes of his existence. Genkai was nowhere to be found, as usual, and Hiei couldn't blame her. He sensed her energy somewhere in the depths of the temple grounds, along with Puu.

He set his sights back on the ferry-girl. Yusuke was wiggling his eyebrows, mouth curved into a smirk that could only spell trouble as he pestered her about something. He had the distinct feeling that the detective was still trying to push her onto Kurama, despite the fact that neither party in question was the least bit inclined to the idea. The thought burned at him as he jumped down from his spot up on the old fir tree.

"Leave her be, detective."

Botan immediately lit up at the sound of his voice, turning to view him with a bright smile.

"Hiei!" she breathed out, like she couldn't believe that he was actually here and bothered to come to her defense in front of everyone.

"Playing the role of knight and shining armor, eh?" Yusuke teased.

"No, you fool, I'm merely doing what I should have long ago," he replied as he took another step closer towards the ferry-girl.

The group had gone quiet and time seemed to slow down as he took her face in his hands. She didn't flinch or move away from his touch. She never did.

"...Hiei?" she asked unsurely, looking up into his eyes from her seated position.

"This is what you wanted," he reminded her as he leaned in. "Don't regret it."

He tilted her chin and captured her lips with his. The outside world could have vanished for all he cared and Botan must have felt the same, because she melted into his touch with a contented sigh. He took a moment to revel in the feeling he had done without for so long, cursing himself for prolonging both of their miseries. When they eventually pulled apart, it was unusually silent and several wide-eyed gazes rested on them.

"The ferry-girl is mine," he declared as he glared over at the males. "If any of you so much as looks at her the wrong way, I will kill you slowly, painfully and mercilessly."

It took a moment for his words to sink in and then the commotion began.

"What the hell was that?" Yusuke exclaimed, confusion running through his expression. "Is it kiss the reaper day or something?"

"I believe that was the equivalent of Hiei marking his territory," Kurama informed.

"You don't look the least bit shocked. Did you know about this, fox-boy?" the detective grilled.

"I had an inkling, yes."

"And you," Yusuke said, pointing over at Yukina. "You don't look surprised, either."

Ruby eyes blinked twice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that it was a secret to begin with," Yukina replied, much to everyone's astonishment, Hiei included. She smiled a bit sheepishly. "I thought it was obvious."

"Huh…" Yusuke breathed out in disbelief.

"Don't feel too bad about it, the rest of us oblivious humans didn't suspect a thing, either," Shizuru said dismissively. "Though I should have suspected something, since they always did have a habit of showing up and leaving at around the same time."

"And they would always end up alone together in between the matches of the Dark Tournament," Keiko pointed out as the realization slowly dawned on her.

Yusuke folded his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair, his expression contemplative.

"I guess it explains why they always disappeared before and after every mission," he reasoned. "And speaking of missions, I guess Hiei's little temper tantrum last time around makes perfect sense now."

"Yeah, and his weird house visit last night," Kuwabara added.

Yusuke leaned forward, hands on his knees and brows lifted in surprise.

"He went to your house?" Yusuke asked. "Mr. Anti-Social actually bothered to make a house call?"

Kuwabara nodded.

"He was asking me about love and emotions," he recalled, before wincing guiltily. "And he even admitted to liking Botan, though I thought it was a joke at the time."

"What? No way!"

"On my honor as a man, Urameshi."

The two continued to discuss the topic as Botan slipped her hand in Hiei's, drawing his attention to her.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

"I'm fine," he answered. This wasn't as bad as he expected it to be. The fools were too busy recalling all of the signs and evidences that they'd overlooked, that they did not have the chance to ask the more intrusive questions. At least some things were still private.

"You were so adamantly against it before…" she recalled, squeezing his hand comfortingly. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I can't take it back now," he rationalized. "And I'm not in the habit of regretting what I've done."

She smiled in relief.

"That's good."

"Hey, lovebirds!" Yusuke cut in, drawing their attention back to him. "Exactly how long has this thing been going on?"

Botan paused to give it some thought.

"Hm... let's see... a little before the Maze Castle mission?"

"I'm kind of surprised you managed to keep something this big a secret for so long, Botan," Keiko commended.

"I have to agree..." Shizuru admitted.

Botan laughed sheepishly.

"Well… it was all pretty new for the both of us. I didn't want to say anything prematurely…"

"Wait just a damn minute…" Yusuke began. "A little before Maze Castle, you say?"

"Yes," Botan replied. "Around the time you were learning from Genkai."

"So while I was undergoing the worst training of my life, Hiei was taking it easy and getting some sweet, sweet lovin-"

The fire-demon's icy glower promptly shut him up.

"You may know the truth, but don't begin to assume you know it all. I don't want to hear any of your crude remarks or ill-timed attempts at humor."

"Sheesh, is he this demanding in bed?" Yusuke joked, nudging Botan lightly.

"Sometimes," she confirmed with a solemn nod of her head.

The look that Hiei gave her would have inspired nightmares in any other soul, but Botan simply threw a hand over her mouth and let out a tiny and ineffectual, "Oopsie!"

The others broke off into a boisterous mix of laughter and invasive questions. Botan became progressively more overwhelmed as she glanced between the group and the fire-demon, so he caught her gaze and cocked his head towards the forest wordlessly. She nodded eagerly, immediately following his train of thought.

"Well, it was just wonderful spending time with you all, but we really must be off," she spoke, her voice barely making it over the cacophony of sounds as she summoned her oar and took a seat. "Toodles!"

Hiei said nothing as he sped off into the forest with Botan trailing closely behind. He skidded to halt in a small clearing, arms crossed over his chest as he waited for the bluette to descend. The sunlight filtered through the tree leaves and branches, covering his expression in both shadow and gold as he regarded her.

"I told you this was a bad idea," he maintained as he watched Botan dismount her oar and banish it.

There was a playful look in her eyes as she met his gaze once more.

"I don't know, I think it was long overdue."

He glanced away as she laced her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you for compromising and telling the others."

"You hardly gave me a choice in the matter when you avoided me like the plague," he grumbled accusingly.

Botan blinked.

"...Are you saying the only reason you told them was because you couldn't do without me for a few days?"

His cheeks warmed, but he certainly wasn't blushing. He had never blushed before and he wasn't about to start now. He was simply overheated, what with the high temperature and the way the ferry-girl was pushed up against him like that.

"Take it as you see fit, woman," he replied.

She was biting back a smile, but he could see it shining in her eyes anyway.

"Well, if it's worth anything, the past few days without you were miserable for me too. I just wanted to give you the time and space you needed to at least think of my side of things."

He held her gaze evenly.

"I don't need time away from you to figure things out, you silly woman," he admitted. "I meant it when I said I wanted you all those months ago. That won't change."

She smiled, open and warm, before leaning in to kiss him. It was sweet and soft and all the things he had come to appreciate during the time he had been with her.

"Love you," she whispered quietly, like it was a secret for his ears only.

And he supposed that was really the heart of it: because he loved her, too.

* * *

As I was writing this, I realized that I really _really_ wanted to explore how Hiei/Botan got together in this timeline. So, you all can expect a prequel for this sometime in the future.

That being said, I hope you all enjoyed this fic. :) Please drop a review if you did.


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